That was Penny Arcade, this is F@NBOY$.

Continue reading ‘E3 recap in animated form’

Back in November of 2006, we never thought it would be like this. I remember vividly sitting in line for the Wii while people passing us asked if we where waiting for Sony’s PS3 (shootings where still in the news). They then would patronize us or look confused when we would say we where waiting for a Wii . Today those same people would either offer up a friend code or money to buy my Wii if they knew I had one. It has become such a pop culture phenomenon now I hate to say I own it. Such a phenomenon that Nintendo has lost sight of who they where only 2 years prior and have fallen back into the mentality they got them where they where in 2005.

While I love the fact that Nintendo or any game system has hit the world fierce and has more people gaming than ever, I do not love… or even like what that means for the hardcore gamers who where repping Nintendo when they where down and out.

Now I have these yuppie parents coming to me and telling me about how they have a “WII” and “Oh man it’s just the greatest”. They tell me about how they play Wii Sports and they tell me about their stupid kids. Always with the stupid kids. It’s like how I’ve been a computer nerd all of my life and now the same people who made fun of us nerds growing up now treat us like we’re cool because we know how they screwed up their computers… and we know how to fix them.

How can we as hardcore gamers relate to people like that. We really can’t. The media and the companies who push it may say that casual gaming is bringing people together, but what it really is doing is segregating people into Casual Gamers and then “Core” gamers. Calling us “Core” gamers is the new politically correct way to say “hardcore gamers”, which is Nintendo’s nicer way to say “game freaks”.

Continue reading ‘Nintendo: Losing Touch’

Though he hates the gory shooters, Shiggs sure as hell is not ignorant to them. The man is a student of the industry. Watch as he gazes, sips bottled tap water, and gazes some more.

Wonder what he’s thinking here. Besides the snide stuff.

Let’s see how long before Rollin takes this down.

Ryan Sumo, former (well actually current-but-lazy) Asian editor of Intendo and lover of all things rice-based, has created some ripples on the Escapist with an article dealing with piracy in the 3rd world. Since we’ve already established that I’m a lazy motherfucker, here’s some flavor text from Gamepolitics:

In a novel, if certainly controversial suggestion, Filipino game design artist Ryan Sumo argues that video game companies should compete with bootleg sellers in poorer countries by selling products with minimalist packaging and even allowing the pirates to burn the actual discs.

Sumo makes his argument in a guest column for The Escapist

Piracy’s been on the industry’s min lately, and their effors to combat it have rally met with little success.  My solution’s fairly siple.  Just match their prices.  Read on to find out more.

Microsoft blew their load on Monday, but later on this morning, Nintendo and Sony will let the letfover fireworks out with their E3 media briefings.

Nintendo’s already let the world know of their Wii MotionPlus, something i, surprisingly, can’t spin negatively. If you missed it, it’s an accessory that plugs into the ass of your Wii remote and finally provides 1:1 motion cadence between you and your on-screen actions. Nifty, unexpected, and damnit, i’m almost proud of the Large N.

The question remains: will all those mediocore-controlling titles from the past benefit from the seemingly perfect precision of the Wii MotionPlus? Either way, seeing as this is not for the casual at heart, it’s safe to say that at least future games with the hardcore in mind will just assume that you’ve bought one of these and make damn sure it’s utilized.

Nintendo’s already made this E3 more exciting than their last, shutting some critics up on the path, but their briefing is later this morning. Let’s hope there’s at least one more thing, though quite frankly, they’ve already shown enough. I don’t quite think they’ll have a new DS to show, but it’s as likely as anything else i guess. They’re scheduled to potentially blow some minds at 11:30am ET time. Phone home if you have to.

Sony’s on tap a few hours after Nintendo at 2:30 pm ET. What do they have to show for themselves?

Continue reading ‘E3 2008 - Super Tuesday’

Have you heard of Microsoft’s answer to the Wii remote? Sure you have. But we here haven’t been keeping up with every ounce of news on it, since it’s surely bound to fail epicly. Cynical, am i? Or 360 hater? Perhaps… Wii fanboy???!?

Neh. Just watch that video and tell me your interest is piqued. (Nevermind the production value. Public access television would be proud.) I dare you. Look at them dudes swinging that thing around and tell me you want in. Then, watch the next two below and try to keep your lunch down.

Continue reading ‘Darwin - Xbox 360’s casual theory’

Google Earth finally has a useful purpose outside of making up conspiracy theories. Yes, Sony is making a game called The Last Guy that incorporates Google Earth in an intriguing way. This game sounds like a next-next-gen Resident Evil or Dead Rising. You play from a top-down (love that song) perspective, using Google Earth’s satellite imaging to rescue human people, taking them to shelter and saving them from zombies.

Kotaku says that it might be a PSN game, and that would be one impressive game whether downloadable or on Blu-ray. Definitely looking forward to this. The PS3 might even be able to render a more detailed Earth.

See? High-end, always-online systems can innovate, too!

Don’t let Dogz, Horsez, Babiez, Herpez, Fecez, and the waves upon god-forsaken waves of shovelware crap the DS and Wii get fool you. The Large N does keep a firm grip on quality control for their platforms. As a matter of fact, there’s a recipe. Shiggs has even let the secret slip: Nintendon’t make games like Sega.

When asked about maintaining quality control at Nintendo, Miyamoto says the key is in avoiding Sega-style design. He tells Wired, “I’m always instructing my game designers on the history of the characters and worlds we’ve created. Often we’re in development and I’ll say, ‘Oh, this looks like a Sega game. We need to make it look more like Mario.’”

Tons more Mario, lot less SEGA software of any type or form. With the track records this far, it’s a sound gameplan. Let’s cancel all Nintendo releases of Sonic Unleashed and Bioware’s RPG right now, else the money train derails.

Because Mark Rein’s a sculptor, and he’ll be damned if he crosses mediums. For the sake of art.

No we don’t have any plans to make something for the Wii. That’s like asking a sculptor when he’s going to start painting. That’s just not our medium. That’s not our area of expertise — our area of expertise is the more high-end consoles and things that push technology higher. That’s what we do — there’s a lot more water in that well for us, when that runs dry then maybe we’d have to think of doing something else but I don’t think that well is going to run dry anytime soon.

Money and installed base are no suitors to Mark Rein, artiste. But grab some duct-tape plus another GameCube and he’ll sell out tomorrow morning.

This clip of Wario Land: Shake It shows off some decent, 21st century animation and the stench of bad fan service. Unless there’s a wallet attachment for the remote, or a fake squiggly mustache you can wear while you play, this one’s gonna fall on deaf ears. At least i hope.

Yes, Nintendo. Fanmen may talk about Wario Land, but they sure as shit don’t buy it.